Crossroads

The cycle of thought process is unending. May it be positive or negative, the number of conversations one has with oneself throughout the day is innumerable and they are reflected on one’s character. These facts are obviously known to everyone yet why do people tend to live in oblivion to its perks?

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

The sky was grey, the weather was cold, there was uneasiness in the air and silence demanded to be heard. Her thoughts were taking control over herself and melancholy had clasped her tightly. There was no reason behind this depression. The reasons seemed very mere to her, almost like they didn’t count to be saddened on. Priya was just having a bad day, one of those days where everything seems wrong and not in accordance with one’s wishes.

She dragged herself out of her bed and stood in her balcony, the view was breathtaking. The trees swayed on the hills, the sun was hidden beneath the clouds, a flock of birds flying across the vast sky and voices of little kids playing below. So much of bliss around and yet she was struck by sadness. She closed her eyes and a flashback of 18 years of her life rolled like a movie in front of her. It consisted of so much of everything. Every incidence of her life had always been extreme. She felt life had been brutal to her until a long lost memory came to her mind.

Priya was once caught cheating in her class test in 10^th grade; her teacher was disappointed in her. Luckily the fury lasted short and Priya was allowed to finish the test but was called to the teacher’s office later that afternoon. Along with a little scolding her teacher said one thing that she still remembers clearly, she said “Life gambles, it will persuade you that wrong is right and it is you who decides whether to believe in your instincts or just go with the flow, life will challenge you in every step and will try bringing you down, it’s you who decides if you give life that chance.”

She then wondered was she giving life a chance to bring her down? Was she in a state of sadness for no reason at all? Was she letting life get to her? She hysterically laughed to herself, at her stupidity. She walked out the balcony, feeling blissful…

So many people live their life at the verge of profound despair, mainly because they let negativity get to themselves. It is so easy to be happy and yet people choose to be sad. That’s right, choose. One chooses to be how they are. One chooses to shun the silver lining of the cloud, one chooses to shut themselves up and one chooses to live each day the way they want. It all depends on our decisions.

Decide to live and not survive. Decide to be happy or better, ecstatic. Decide, because through these decisions you are shaping yourself. Decide, because you become what you think. Decide to choose the right path of the crossroad. Decide, because your decision matters.

“Transition”, an intrinsic part of life.

I thought life was a blend of perfection but little did I know that my insight was its reason, I thought bliss kissed everyday of mine but little did I know that bliss within me was the reason, I thought strength can be attained with experience but little did I know that patience and time were equally crucial, I thought everything around me changed but little did I know that knocking out the bombarding of life had lead me towards change.

DEAL WITH IT

One may generally expect a very comforting and cushioning dose of explanation when they are living in a situation of sudden change and need counseling on how transition is truly an intrinsic part of life, but this is no sentimental article. In my opinion there are just three words for every person who is struck in this melancholy of life and the words are, Deal with It. It sounds harsh and cruel but that is a very honest and valid answer that brings an end to all your queries and long hours of over thinking.

Everyone strives to make their lives perfect. The definition of perfection in everyone’s life is very different and most of them manage to attain it but the sad part is people then strive to maintain the perfection forgetting that the future is not in their hands. People do not change until the circumstances around them change and change in circumstances is inevitable.

Dealing with change has more than one explanation, it means ignoring the negatives of the change, learning from the ruthless and harsh realities, getting back up for another round, preparing yourself for taking another risk, learning to laugh it off, bringing a stop to the struggle in the pool of despair and swimming towards the shore of happiness, doing things for yourself and living your life oblivious to happenings around the world, living your life your way, the way it’s supposed to be.

One may try running away from change, as fast as possible and as far as possible but change is like our very own shadow and every second, may it be day or night is filled with sunshine. It’s going to persist. Change has many effects, it can be towards betterment and it can also direct itself towards the opposite but our retaliation towards it defines us. Till now you may be under the conscience that you can control your life but that is not true, subconsciously and unknowingly the responsibility of your happiness lies in the hands of people close to you, people according to you are trustworthy which seems unreal but is in fact true. You cannot control a certain number of things but the one thing that is in your and only your hands is your power to distribute importance and priorities to what you think is worth and necessary, the power of letting go and the power of ignorance towards unwanted but inexorable change.

Learn to deal with change before change is the reason for your very own transformation. A transformation you never wanted, a transformation that causes you to lose everything that means the world to you, a transformation that sucks out your happiness…

Really, you wound up with that person?

As a disclaimer I would want to tell my readers that this is no article for making any kind of person feel inferior neither is it in regard to a certain individual and yes, I do respect every human being for who they are.

I have seen so many people drown in melancholy over someone totally undeserving and hence, this is just an eye opener to every person in distress because you are beautiful just the way you are and you deserve so much better. Also, I have seen people with really undeserving people and wondered “I would have been happier to see you in the former distress than the distress you are unaware of but are presently in!”

I just wonder why..?

Not long before did I attend a wedding, of course it was grand and the entire mob of people along with the families of bride and groom seemed ecstatic and joyous. A general curiosity of yours would be why the word “seem”? An answer to that my friend is, the marriage was not very much in accordance with the bride’s family. The bride was a very well educated, talented and independent woman. She was raised with lots of love, care and proper guidance by her very extrovert parents. Little did they know that their little daughter was having a 6 year long affair with a neighborhood boy from when she was a teenager. The family of the boy was not very well off and also they were very introvert. In very much contrast to the girl, his education qualification was not quite enough to make ends meet and also his behavior, group of friends and company were not applaudable. This boy was none other than her husband, the groom. Her parents, closest relatives and friends tried to counsel her out of this as she deserved so much better in life but because she was blinded in love she did not even budge from her decision. Her life had so much of happiness awaiting her but she chose a different path, of course she did what she wanted to do but was it worth so much of sacrifice? Did she see the long term conditions? One may only wonder what if...

There are so many people all around the globe with someone without whom they could have been better off. People generally misunderstand psychological dependence and the filling of the void as love and little do they know that it may seem that it’s doing good to them but in reality it’s draining out their energy.

Love is when your partner helps you grow, encourages you towards betterment and helps you succeed. If the person you are with is very much opposite to the above then I think we may have a problem.  Leaving someone for your betterment is not selfish but sensible as you both can do better and can find someone worth each other. On the other hand getting your heart broken is not a bad sign but a good sign for the very same reason.

Diving into the shallow end of pool by making life decisions without perception is an act of stupidity.  Life is this beautiful gift to man-kind. Finding the right people for yourself, falling in love with a person who deserves your league and learning from your mistakes is all what life is about, so you better make most of it before the story of your life ends with “what if…”

Be a ball of happiness ready to burst.!

 “Watch your thoughts for they become words.

Watch your words for they become actions.

Watch your actions for they become habits.

Watch your habits for they become your character.

And watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

What we think, we become.”

-         Margaret Thatcher

The above quote is so easy to practice and yet we compel ourselves to complicate our lives, thinking about all the downfalls and disappointments, so how about for a change we think happy and view our own destiny.

Here are some tips for optimism and bliss and how they’ll ease your livelihood.

Steps towards better living

     1.)          Don’t turn into a mean girl, learn to appreciate..!

  May it be an exquisite dish made by your mother or a long walk with someone you love, may it be your dad trying to teach you a small but important lesson of life or your grandmother surprising you with a toffee, you must never forget to appreciate their effort because they did it for you.

No amount of money or materialistic happiness can ever be compared to something so pure and beautiful because happiness attained in this form is ever lasting. Appreciation also blooms the front person up, so why keep shut?

2.)             Don’t be Grumpy the dwarf!

No one would want to be in a company which sucks out their energy and depresses them because in today’s world energy is a very necessary and essential commodity! Everyone has their own queue of problems troubling them and adding your own bunch would not help. Learn to think positively and have happy thoughts, because as you already know now you become what you think. Be the source of cheer and joy, that’ll not only make you feel good but might also make up the mood of everyone else around you.

3.)             Stop being so cynical.

A lot many things tend to happen in everyone’s life all around the world, but having a pessimistic view to all the situations is extremely wrong and practically unhealthy. One must learn to accept certain things and try thinking of positive outcomes instead of finding something or the other wrong in it. Finding goodness in everyone and everything is an art and who knows, the situation that felt so hugely saddening and the person who seemed like a jerk might actually turn out to be good and unexpectedly lovely.

4.)             Have no indifference..!

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Everyone has been through something that is still bothering them and making them feel secluded would be the last thing they would want to happen to themselves. Learn to love the people around you because nothing makes one feel happier than being loved and feeling wanted.

So wrapping it all up, learn to be a ball of happiness ready to burst, that will not only make your day but will also make the day of everyone around you!

  

She spoke up and she was helped

It’s hard to believe the front person when just mere philosophical words come out of his/her mouths and that’s what made me think, what is better than a very live example? Here is a true and a short story based on an incident happening in my very own life and is very much in regard with my previous post. If you haven’t read it, here it is http://blithenbliss.blogspot.in/2014/07/deserve-to-be-heard.html.

Now that you have an idea where I am going with this post, let us begin.

Vaishali spoke up..

Vaishali, our maid has been working for us for 9 years now. She is a single mother who works very hard. She has shifts at different houses throughout the day to not only make ends meet but also to enjoy small luxuries of life. She has learnt to make some exquisite dishes from my mother and prepares it with the same love and vigor for all of us. Over these many years Vaishali has come very close to our family and still aspires to learn from my mother.

Vaishali’s son Prathmesh gave his 10^th board exams and wanted to get admission in a college in Kolhapur (her hometown) for doing his diploma in mechanical engineering. One out of many harsh realities was, Vaishali belonged to minority class and had to go to college for three days consecutively for her sons admission. The line for this process was unimaginably long and people waited for hours and hours to get it done. With the tight schedule of her own and her son’s admission on her mind Vaishali was extremely stressed as the admission had yet not taken place. Her son being quite talented and intelligent was still being lashed in turmoil created by society. Her work was getting affected due to this as she used to be late because of this process and was hence very often yelled at.

The background she came from had taught her from her childhood to take orders and not be outspoken. She was one strong woman but of course an ask for help from whom according to her were her superiors was quite a big deal for her. She was struck in melancholy and due to the made up rules of the society she was not able to ask for help.

One day she had had enough of it and thought of getting out of the shell created by the world around her. She kept her conscience in mind and with boldness came up to me for help. I have always believed that help is always given to those who ask for it and I admired Vaishali for the courage she showed. I was not known to the crisis she was in and instantly helped her out fill all the forms she needed when I was known to her problems. Along with that I also went to her son’s college to get all the necessary information. She was ecstatic and relieved.

If Vaishali would have not spoken up for herself and had not asked for help her life could have taken a different turn, a turn we would not have been happy about.

Asking for help and speaking out in the time of need is necessary, only over doing it during the times when it’s not required seems like a baggage. So be outspoken, be bold and be courageous as it will lead you to happiness and self-content.

Deserve to be heard.

Spontaneity is slowly decreasing in today’s world, especially in the matter of expressing emotions. So here is some advice on how letting out how you feel will lead you towards betterment of yourself because you deserve to be heard. 

Why be ashamed?

Imagine a world full of enclosed people, people who are not insipid enough to share or even speak about their feelings. Seems quite isolating, right? But isn't everyone around you practicing it by hiding their thoughts and emotions as if they were a secret.

There is a list of shaming situations and happenings, but the reason to be mortified by people these days are their very own emotions and feelings. One must not be disgraced to express their feelings especially on the note of being mocked at. There might be some despicable people around the world who sustain on the anguish of others but that does not mean there are no exceptions. Speaking up ones feelings is a little challenging but it does not deserve to be buried within you, the very thought of it is suffocating. It might take one as a surprise but talking out your problems with someone close to you is the best self-help you can ever get. As a bonus, the feeling you get after is not only exhilarating but it will certainly set you up in a better mood.

You have this beautiful life and all your emotions have the right to be expressed. Of course the situation and consequences have to be kept in mind but what if the timing is perfect but still you are hiding that tingling happiness, that floating feeling which makes you feel ecstatic, that tear which you kept buried inside and that feeling of being hurt? Wouldn’t that be a saddening? Being who you are and speaking up what’s on your mind is not astounding but is instead very appreciating. Along the way one has many chances of getting a helping hand in their moment of need or a company to share the very same joy, but that will be viable only if one expressed their emotions.

So let us not be afraid or disgraced of being ourselves, let us be assertive and outspoken no matter what, because drowning in the pool of our own thoughts is an act of cowardice, and we are anything but a coward.

5 step recipe towards self-confidence

People nowadays lack a lot of self-confidence which hampers their self-esteem. They have started to live in solitude which is followed by depression, but why? Only because they have a little less confidence in themselves. So here is my awesome sauce recipe for attaining self-confidence.

5 step recipe towards self-confidence!

Step 1:

  Believe in yourself.

  People are going to criticize you, call you names and say all kinds of things to bring you down. Some people do it for pleasure; sadists, some people do it just because they are voyeurs and some do it because they just envy you! But do you drown in pool of self-complacence? Of course not. You look past them, like they were some invisible and ignored wall; totally unseen. Because you believe in what you are and you believe in what you do and one day they are going to appreciate you for it. 

Step 2:

 Walk like you own the place!

No one is going to approach to you if you are going to live in a little doom of awkwardness and silence, walking timidly and nervously. When you walk, you walk like you own the place. You walk as if you are not afraid of anything because what is there to be afraid of? You have the panache, you have the smartness and you are not at all vapid. What’s the need to be scared? Life is a ramp and you and only you are the show stopper!

Step 3:

 Talk, speak up and give opinions:

Why be the audience in every conversation? Speaking up and giving your ideas and views because they are not only agreeable during a talk but also very appreciative is very assertive. Sometimes you may be challenged with opposing views but that is how one learns and the times when your opinions match to the majority of the group then that attains you confidence and the blissful feeling of being heard. 

Step 4:

 Keep an outspoken and outgoing company:

How are you going to be confident and outgoing if the people around you are shy butterflies? Keep a company that challenges you. Stay amongst people who have similar goals and aspirations. No one is asking you to ditch your buddies or your best friend, but never forget to exchange talks with people who inspire you and admire you because your company influences you in ways more than you can imagine.

                                                   

Step 5:

 Be calm and tranquil.

Over thinking, nervousness, panic and unnecessary adrenaline rush can leave you devastated! Staying calm and composed will not only help you restore the faith in yourself but will also allow you to talk to yourself. You might be thinking how could that be helpful, but talking to one self is the key to confidence because self-boost is the best thing that could attain you self-confidence. Take a deep breath and relax because there is nothing in the world to be scared of.